it’s tough, because all semester long you tell yourself, this time it’ll be different. this time i’ll start working earlier, and harder, and longer, so that i’m not cramming in all this studying at the end, right before exams.
what’s funny is, this time *is* different. i’ve been working my ass off since nearly day one, after my last set of exams in december: reading, writing, reviewing.
and yet, somehow – god only knows how – there is still so much left to be done.
i haven’t been here much, as things have been so crazy: mom came home for two weeks, then went back to lebanon this past wednesday, taking my little sister with her. house feels lonely without them. (also, i’m now the only female – eek.)
school has been going ok, actually – i’m trying really hard to stay on top of my work, and to find some joy in studying medicine. because if i don’t do that, honestly, it’ll just make me miserable. i have to search for the love in it.
and i’m doing better at including “life” things, too: going back to yoga, making doctor appointments, spending time with family, boyfriend, friends. i need to take better care of myself – it’s something i’d let go of.
i’ve recently discovered i’m lactose intolerant (most likely). so i’ve stopped eating all dairy except yogurt (which is ok to eat because the live cultures digest the lactose for you). this might’ve been the culprit of my health problems..
i’ve been thinking a lot about the situation in gaza, the upcoming turnover of our president & administration, where i see our country going, and where i see myself in however many years. i feel a strong connection to my parents’ home country of lebanon, but i’ve grown up and been in the US my whole life. so i try to learn, get updates, as much as i can – but this is also hard, because i have such limited time, between studying & everything else in my life, to be following news & politics.
ok, i’ll now be disappearing for about three weeks… you can still catch me on twitter if you’re curious.
